Recalling Back.....

I am quite an absent minded person; not so alert in remembering things but when I call back my childhood days there are no single things or occurrence I don’t remember that happened to come across. Sometimes I feel if i get to back again to feel that time! Those days changing school was like changing clothes for me. Looking people of convenience and place of comfort, my parents constantly changed school for me and that happened in sequential number of years. I remember there were no good roads and school van that would take us to school and we used to walk by the way of field in applying shortcuts to school. I remember my curly brown hair which my father used to blade every time. It was better to blade than to put cap for the hair which mom could hardly comb in her busy days. But the thing was of shame in both the cases. When bladed, my near friends did not stay together with me and when capped I had to be afraid of that being hidden by mischievous friends and  got rebuking by teacher afterward for my extreme curl, tangled and uncombed hair. And I still remember my bladed head until few years of starting of my school.😯 There used to be none to pick us up from school. Either we had to walk in group or alone. When alone I remember how I used to freeze with panic attack while walking from the quiet maize field. People used to say there were jackals roaming around and I used to run all that way in my single breath. When I passed through paddy field I used to relieve myself and never forgot to count tadpoles in running water upon my constant gazing. Only rainy days were those when mom used to come with long army raincoats, some type plastic covering tapering at head side and those unusual gumboots😧 Oh! My God, those gumboots how I used to hate them. I used to feel if mom would come to take me in umbrellas only. How shame I used to feel to walk on long raincoat or plastics balancing their length at waist with my little hands. I never knew why I hated gumboots that much while it was alright for kids of same age. I remember how crooked my mind went that time that I hid them away from the sight of mother just to get rid of wearing them on rainy days.

It was the time when we couldn't frankly speak things we wanted and also those things we didn't want to. Fed off with the same tiffin, i remember even these days that i just used to put weight to my bag with uneaten rancid stuffs. It was sometimes thing of fortune to get a five rupee note. A five rupee note would buy a big handful of namkins, dungris and a well shaven pear with chat masala rolled over. Even though the busiest days of mom, I used to be filled up with ecstasy when sometimes I found mom at home earlier than me. I used to love eating pancakes by her with no complain at all. In her absence I still remember plucking radish from field just to suppress my hunger. And those days I could never get off coughing and cold. During dusk, all Rupis and sparrows used to go to find home in bamboo woods nearby. Thousands of them used to fly through our rooftop to the woods. I together with my friends used to be busy counting number of good lucks for ourselves. I used to feel if I could knock those woods forcefully to see them flying scatteredly just to amaze myself by the view I got to see then.

I remember how life used to be filled up with cautiousness when father used to be around or when at home. That incident still knocked my mind when together with me, my sister and brother were lined up for punishment for drawing on the walls. I wanted to ask him why all and not that who committed that. I felt bad that he did not even let go brother who was an adolescent already to involve in such stupidity. How could I forget that day when I hurt my nose seriously because of some part of mischievousness in class with friends and had to hide below the bed all the time just not to familiarize him about the misconduct I did. The poor I was caught though and nobody could protect me from his scolding that day also. The punishment for losing beautiful slipper brought to me by father became that the both sisters were made stay out of locked door for hours. Really, crazy! Not? But it was like that mistake of one used to be punishment for all😖. I together with my sister had hidden many injuries and mistakes those days because we better knew that firstly we would be counted for our mistakes and then only our injuries would be thought to heal about. During absence of father at home, days were like everyday full of fun and laughter😆 We used to play till evening until we heard last screaming of mom on us. Every time on his return he used to kiss us on our cheeks but the poor he did not know how his daughters hated him on his return😂 If it were Saturday we would totally stay in despair of missing Saturday’s cinemas and Ramayana’s episodes at nearby neighbor's. I sometimes miss my stringent father whom nowadays I count so little. Saturday was the only day when life used to be vivid with music, children playing on sun and mothers on duty of their children. Nowadays we even forgot the days but those days anyone could guess the day by viewing the liveliness of the day. I still remember that day when I could not go to watch Ramayan because of fever and my sister came to let me know what happened afterward. It was Soyambar of Sita that day and I regretted it on my bed for missing it even forgetting that I was burning with fever that moment

Today we go to watch movies with family or close group in vehicles accessible everywhere but those days the whole village would turn crazy to watch Nepali movies. We would rise the early Saturday before the first ray of sun kissed the earth and walked all the way to Thimi which had the only hall in close proximity from our location. Playing with inanimate things like pillows, brushes, dolls out old shredded clothes, giving characters to each other, creating scenes and nattering play were kind of entertainment for us those days. Today when i remember those days i suddenly happen to contrast those days with today, smile widens across my lips thinking they were also the days!!😆Today we can text and message each other by various media and we can maintain privacy for this also but those days letters used to be the only easiest medium. Arrival of letter also used to be a big announcement in the whole village. Anyone would be eager to know words of letters those days whether it would be in own house or in others. Today if this happens it's called interference, hacking or variously named to prove illegal😆😅 but those days it were some kind concerns people used to take it as. This can be because those days were better defined by commonness which turned to secrecy and distinction these days. I still remember those letters father used to write to us when he was set for United Peace Keeping Force in Lebanan and how we, kids used to gather all around the reader. Not only this my sister used to visit even neighbors for reading their letters. Today we keep messages unseen or even delete conversation but those days people used to keep letters safely for years even though the words written in it faded away and the paper became fragile to handle. The radios and cassettes existed in those days also. On calling, our elders used to run leaving tasks behind one had been doing to attend landline phone in nearby owner of it. Though we mock old version reel cameras photos of ourselves these days they are only the thing that grasps our childhood memories for us today.

When I see big field being used for some solid construction these days, I miss the game ball, dandi biyo, we used to play there. Images of we running in the field still flash out in my mind. I miss how my sister used to defend me every time in the field and hold my hand all the time. I feel bad that she has moved for her own and I have to defend me myself every time now on. Gathering in open fields, collecting twigs and allocating each other to bring different foodstuffs to cook in the field used to be termed Banbhat. No matter how well or mess we, kids could cook, it would still be taste with all goodness for us those days. I remember how we used to mutilate paddy fields in summer and how we used to disturb neighbor in cold winter night by chattering around and playing hide and seeks. I miss collecting hays and dried maize stalks to fire in the evening. We would mimic of smoking by burning on tip of straw. The view of hot air balloons is still captivating to my eyes. We used to dream every time to fly in those balloons because we used to see them most of the times in our sky. I remember just to see it landed, I had escaped out of mother’s hand who was making my hair to be ready for school and run all the way to the Thimi with the women running ahead. I wanted to ask if they would also take me to flight but I saw tourists landing and heard women murmuring that only tourists could fly in it. I was left in desperation but more desperate i felt was on getting mother’s beating for being late for school on come back. Today we have a lot of facilities on anything we want things to happen like for ourselves. Those days just getting to watch TV or having an one rupee note that could buy four orange balls or two milky lacto funs/love birds chocolates was like to feel in paradise. Today i can hardly stay before an TV for even a fifteen minutes patiently though i have enough spear time but those days how we used to engage hours in small attempts of creating happiness like we could spend the whole day counting number of paragliding armies from an aeroplane as a part of their training. Dashain used to be the only occasion when we got to dress new. Today we rarely values clothes after we put on once and found hard to know own clothes after couple of years but I think I still won’t find it hard to remember the dresses we were bought on every Dashain each year. It was because we used to put them with much love until they left their last fibers. During especial moments like Dashain we used to make many hand made cards for our beloved friends. Post cards used to be an inexpensive and simple gifts those days where we used to indicate saying "Rose is red, Sky is blue, I have a friend and that is you."

We grew up a dog unintentionally who followed us on the way to home from school. Away from sight of father, we securely gave shelter and food for it and named it Seru. In the last nibble of food we would pretend of stomach ache just to discard food and feed leftover to our Seru. On calling by name it used to come running no matter how far it might had gone to. Just one day it happened that father came to know about our secret intimacy with Seru and he dragged it to Koteshwor. Seru was crying and denying so much. I cried that whole day telling mom to desert me faraway once I would be grown up like Seru😩. 

I remember the whistle of milkman that would rise me up every morning. When dressed new I remember going up to every neighbor to tell them that we were bought new clothes. I remember dancing for hours in the rooftop in new dresses. Every season used to be distinct those days; not like today when it is almost rainy in spring and almost drought in rainy. When it was spring we would see pansy and poppy in our yard, we would run after butterflies and dragonfly. Rainy season would bring greenery all around and winter used to come with cold mist scattered thickly. The sound of cuckoo and dove used to soothe the whole village in spring and the flight of cranes used to be eye catching view during rainy season. We would never stop to mock old asare themes and Asare geet of women from Thimi. I still remember the Mulpani road that was distinctly viewable from window of our home from where we could clearly see people running for bus. Collecting carrots in Newars' field near Manohara river during holidays, Chatti and buddhi game we used to play so often in school and stealing every eatables that we liked from kitchen; (horlicks, fruits, biscuits, any and even sugar when not any)😝away from sight of elders without any consent; still play so hard in my mind. Collecting small potatoes also called Selas after major were dug down, sticking and licking Titaura on hand under bench and away from attention of teacher, stoop down position as part of punishment in school and turning stubborn to follow mom in her Melas while the major intention was to play muddy water in the field were also the some.  Today it is said that chiding and beating children can have bad impact upon their mentality and development and better termed as abuse. In contrary to this, these used to be some kind granted rights for teachers and parents those days and for us, to be scolded and beaten used to be peremptory instructions that we had to take anyhow😆. Though I may read many novels of today, I may take some time to recall them clearly but I distinctly remember the story of Goldilocks, Rip Van Winkle, Red Riding Hood from my old Headway English Book, Gulmohar and Ekalavya story from Moral Science.😍

With everything advancing so much of course I miss the atypical character; I myself. One fine Friday principal announced compulsory presence of parents for collecting mark sheets of children after the half-day of Friday on assembly. I was filled up with terror of not finding mom at home and it happened so when I arrived home. I had heard that she worked in galaxy. I arrived there and asked doorkeeper to call upon her. Upon his denial I intended to climb up the big walls of galaxy. The doorkeeper came running, I fell off the wall and hurt my knees badly. I then went to my sister’s school but the head ma'am denied for letting her come with me. I cried the whole way to school. I created a good drama for teachers, students and parents lining up there. Hearing the reason I cried for, all laughed and looked upon me with pity and tenderness. My class teacher handed me the mark sheet where I saw myself being ranked first. I still remember beating from Kopila miss when I debated with classmate for wining upon that earthworm is python and vice versa; what obstinate character I was😃. I still remember sluggish handwriting of mine that would leave me the last to do with my paper in the exam. How hard i used to stress in my writing that letters from first page would imprint even in the last page of copy.😆 The confusion about having images of onion for garlic and garlic for onion didn't clear even in my upper grades and even today I think for a while while making distinction between the two😃. When I see everything changing and try to accept them, I still can’t accept that I am no longer a women now accompanied by so much loyal and assiduous spirit that I used to have in young me😑.
These memories are so preserved in my mind and will never fade away probably because those days we used to involve so intensely in every thing we used to do. Though it might be just a little thing but giving great attempts to achieve something desired used to bring enormous happiness in our heart😍. Joys, sorrows, desperation, etc.. that those days carried are many but at this instance i feel extremely gleeful to accumulate my childhood memories on Recalling back.......

                                                THANK YOU......